Pamela Marie Lloyd

  After a courageous fight with cancer, Pam passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by family on the morning of August 22nd.  She was born June 12, 1959 to Homer and Beulah (Stickler) Jeffress in Kansas City, MO.   Pam loved to spend time hiking, motorcycling and anything outdoors in Colorado with the beautiful mountains as a backdrop.  She delighted in time spent with her family, well most of the time!    She had a huge heart and would take care of any four legged creature who wandered through the yard.  And somehow, they communicated this and took full advantage of her kindness.  Stray cats, rabbits, and even raccoons have found food and water available, day and night.  She truly had a heart of gold.   Pam was a loving daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother and friend.   She is survived by a fun, yet often dysfunctional family, she loved very much.  Her husband, Jeff  Lloyd; daughters, Jenna Zimmerman (Ben), Amy Barsch (Cletus), and Tara Stueber (Kurt); siblings, Bob Jeffress (Judy), Carol McCollum (Chris), and Gary Jeffress; four granddaughters, Xandria Barsch, Callie Barsch, Emma Stueber and Charlotte Stueber.   She is preceded in death by her parents.   Private services will be held at a later date as per the family’s wishes.  In lieu of flowers, memorials are suggested to Pottawatomie County Caring Hearts Humane Society, and may be left in care of Stewart Funeral Home, PO Box 48, Wamego, KS 66547.  "G-pa Jeff, Jenna, and Tara...  The picture I made for Pam was also for you.  I wanted to give you all this picture to read, before you go to Colorado.  The front of it is for Jenna, you, and the family.  I made that picture the day before she died and I wanted it read to her.  But now....  The day she did go to Heaven, my wish has changed.  When you go to Colorado and sprinkle her ashes, wherever the ashes go, the picture will go.  But I urge you to read, as much of it you can read my handwriting is sloppy.  Sorry.  The back of the picture, has all those bible passages for you.  Jenna and Pam.  The bible passages are something special, something that's the whole truth.  I won't say sorry, that G-mom Pam died.  Sorry doesn't cut it.  It doesn't always feel sincere.  I'll give you something besides a sorry.  I'll give you this letter.  I love Gma Pam, and I know you and Jenna did as well.  But we know where she is.  We really do!  She's not in pain, or just laying there on the couch, not being able to be active.  She's onward.  Doesn't that make her lucky?  It may not seem like it now, to some, but I'm almost jealous.  Not really.  I'm happy that she's in heaven.  I miss her though.  She's still with us, laughing at G-pa's jokes, but we can't see her with our naked human eye.  We see her with our hearts.  She's just wearing an invisibility cloak.  We'll see her one day, with Dazy... Raja... Buddy... Miguu... Nana... Gpa Lloyd... and Gma Emma...  She was reborn into heaven.  She opened her eyes that morning and was at the gates of gold and is wandering the streets of silver."  "In my Father's house, there are many rooms.  If it were not so, I would have told you.  I'm going there to prepare a place for you.  And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come and take you to be where I am."  - John 15:1-3  "I will always love Pam.  She was my gma.  She listened patiantly while I rambled on about something stupid.  She helped me with any legos.  She gave me presents.  She was the ulitmate gma.  My last words ever to her were, 'See you in heaven.  I love you, always.'  Her last words to me were, 'I love you too...'  I miss her.  Miss seeing her or admiring her cool outfits and shoes and makeup.  In all of our hearts, there will always be a family sized hole in our hearts.  In my heart, there are many holes.  Most of them huge.  Wounds like that don't heel.  They hurt the most.  They hurt more than any wound.  It feels like someone's stabbing a knife, right into our hearts, twisting it deeper and harder.  I understand how grief feels.  Believe me, I do.  Didn't know it was as bad as this.  Why is it that we remember the worst moments best?  Our brain experiences the most emotion.  Pam isn't gone.  She's.... on a vacation of sorts.  She won't come back to us, we'll go to her.  Right now, she's chilling with Dazy.  Miguu, Buddy, Nana, Gpa Lloyd, and the rest.  She's with us in our hearts, in our heads.  We'll always miss her, but personally, I'm happy for her.  She's somewhere better than earth.  She's always loved by me."                                                                                           - Luv Em